- An End to All Things Countdown:
In light of the 2012 Mayan Prophecy, it turns out that we have but a short time to prepare for the end. Procrastination is not recommended. That is why each week leading up to our collective doom we will post short excerpts from stories in Jared Yates Sexton’s collection An End to All Things that give clues as to how to survive the Apocalypse–or at least how to make it a little more comfortable.
WHAT TO STOCK UP ON
“This is very good, Harry said, taking a drink from the first cup. This tastes like I’d expect a cup of Splenda brand artificial sweetener sweetened cup of coffee would taste. Pale and yellow, almost, broad strokes of blue.
He put the first cup down and took a long, careful draw from the second.
This has to be the Sweet’N Low artificial sweetener. Brings to mind pink fields with musical notes drifting through the air. I like it. I really do.”
—from the short story “I Know I Am Deathless”
“Here were all these people in a hurry with their lists and I was taking my time and really soaking it in. I picked things off the shelves and just read the ingredients. Then I’d put them back down and move on to the next box or can and do it all over again. Everyone was in such a rush that they kept pushing past and saying nasty things under their breath.”
-from the short story “The Right Men For the Job”
Translation: Chances are, whether you choose to brave the road or barricade yourself in your home, you will need a stock supply of the essentials. But in your stash of goods, you won’t have room for the luxurious selection you have now at the Piggly Wiggly. To prepare for the end, take the time now to test different brands for flavor or efficiency. Know the benefits and disadvantages before you stick yourself with one forever. What would you rather be doing? Waterfalling generic crackers and canned peas into grocery carts, beating off other scavengers for a Slim Jim, or sitting in your underground bunker surrounded by your personal ambrosia, giggling.